Wake Forest 2008 preview show

Minute 1: Heather Catlin quickly switches it over to Jenn Hildreth for the review/preview brought to you by Hardee’s Thickburger. Did you know the Thickburger was charbroiled? There are other sponsors of this show, but none with the meaty, cheesy, caloric goodness of the Hardees’ Thickburger.

Minute 3: Speaking of sponsors, minute 3 is brought to you by the accounting firm of Battle and Battle. Oh, wait. That’s not an accountant. That’s Wake Forest’s associate head coach, Jeff Battle. By the way, has there ever been a weirder, more awkward title change than calling an assistant coach an associate head coach? We all know you’re an assistant. Is this the athletic department’s way of saving some money? I reckon the first one of these conversations went something like this:

Athletic Director – “Good morning, Mr. Assistant. You must have seen the news that we just gave our head coach a raise to two million a year. Well, we have some good news for you also.”

Assistant – “Really?! That’s great! It’s been tough supporting my family on the $40,000 salary I’ve been getting for the last three years with no raise. I’m glad you guys finally found some money in the budget. It sounds like the weeks at a time away from my family with no job security on a year to year basis will finally be worth it.”

A.D. – “Well, there’s not actually any more money. This is something better. You are getting promoted to associate head coach! See, we dropped the assistant label ,and we put head coach in your title. You can tell your friends that you’re basically a head coach!”

Assistant – “Okay, I was hoping for a raise, but this is great. I mean, ASSOCIATE HEAD COACH. It sounds so proper. So, I will have more responsibility, an actual office, and I can stop doing the team’s laundry.”

A.D. – “No.”

Minute 4: Wake returns all five starters and their top nine scorers including James Johnson who is the first Wake player since 1991 to lead the team in scoring and rebounding as a freshman. Can you guess the other? The answer will be in minute 21 during the All-ACC preview team.

Minute 6: We have an appearance by the Little Thickburger… for that little kid inside you that doesn’t want to wait until your fifty to have that first triple bypass surgery.

Minute 10: The interview with Dino Gaudio, that’s Wake’s actual head coach by the way, alludes to the difficulty of taking over after the death of Prosser. I’m about to say something very unpopular, because I imagine Skip Prosser was a nice guy. I think Skip Prosser left a lot to be desired for his team’s results in the postseason. He had Josh Howard when he was the best player in the ACC. He had Chris Paul for two years. Wake never made a tourney final, and they made the Sweet Sixteen once. Then, when he didn’t have the star player, they were terrible his last two years.

Minute 13: It’s man crush time. I skipped this segment on Duke’s show, because I refuse to have a man crush on any Duke player, although Sheyer would be the closest. So, I thought it would be Ismael Smith, however, he shoots about 30% on his free throws. I thought it would be James Johnson, and then I heard him speak later in the program. Then I thought of Gaudio, but it is too early in his tenure to commit to him. So, for now, there will be no individual man crush on Wake, although I do like them collectively, and I think they are going to be fantastic this year. This will be a team award until further notice.

Minute 17: The player profile for Wake is James Johnson. He is the antithesis of Dews and McClinton from Miami. McClinton was an academic All-American last year. I would be impressed if Johnson can find America on a map. Here is Johnson’s quote about teammate Jeff Teague, “Watch out for Jeff Teague ‘cause he creative…” I wish I were kidding.

Minute 21: So, did you figure out the last Wake freshman to lead the team in rebounding and scoring as a freshman? Let’s find out together. My first guess was Chris King. Then, I realized, I think he was more of an 80’s player. So, My guess is Rodney Rogers. Let’s see…

Minute 22: That is correct.

Minute 22: There is no Boston College preview show on the schedule. So, I’ll take this time, since I’ve watched the ACC preview team four times, to focus on local Richmond product Tyrese Rice. Allow a tangent before getting to my point. When the ACC expanded again a few years ago, I accepted Tech right away, because they are natural rivals with Virginia and should have been in the conference a long time ago. I see Miami as more of an SEC school, but they’ve performed well in the tourney and have formed a respectable basketball program. It took me about 14 years to accept FSU as a full ACC member, and the reason I came around on them was because of Tim Pickett. That guy could score in bunches. He was exciting to watch, and he was the first FSU player that was good that gave a crap about winning. I’m discounting the Cassell teams as he was recruited before FSU became an ACC team.

Boston College on the other hand simply shouldn’t be in the ACC. Yet, Tyrese Rice has a chance to be their Tim Pickett. He’s actually much better than Tim Pickett. He is the only reason to watch a BC game. I mean, did you see his game at Carolina last year? The guy is incredible, and I’m looking forward to watching him for one last year. Then, BC can fall right back off the ACC map.

Minute 25: Now that you have suffered through my rant, let’s learn something from “two guys that know a thing or two about college basketball,” Mike Gminski and Tom Werme.
Mike Gmisnki, of course, was a four year starter at Duke. He was an All-American, who averaged over 19 points and 10 rebounds a game. He played on two ACC championship teams, made an NCAA championship game and an Elite Eight. He was the ACC rookie of the year, a three time all ACC first team member, an ACC player of the year, and his jersey is retired at Duke, one of the most historic college basketball programs.

Tom Werme announced the Indiana-Western Kentucky football game back in August. Seriously, that’s about all I could find on the guy.

Enjoy them while they last. There are only two remaining preview shows. Next up, Florida State.